What can you do to make things a little safer for LGBTI youth?

For years, I provided educational sessions at schools on behalf of the Dutch association for LGBTI rights. I wanted to be the role model I had once lacked myself. And I hoped that, in doing so, I would gain a better understanding of how young people from diverse backgrounds think about gender and sexual diversity.

What I learned is that it is perfectly possible to engage in a respectful conversation with one another, even when coming from different cultural backgrounds. It turned out that—precisely by asking questions and sharing experiences—we often had far more in common than we realized. This, in turn, fostered greater understanding and connection. For instance, students shared stories about situations where they had felt different or misunderstood. And sometimes, an LGBTQ+ student felt safe enough to speak openly about their feelings and received support from the class.

Yet, after a few years, I stepped down from this role. At a certain point, the negative comments were getting to me too much. It often felt as though I had to defend my right to exist—something that took me back to my own childhood.

I discovered that I was attracted to men in the early 1990s. Growing up in a strict Christian environment, I felt no room to explore or develop my own sexual identity. Neither at school nor at home did it ever feel safe enough to reveal this part of myself. Afraid of rejection, I conformed, suppressed my feelings, and did what was expected of me. Yet, deep down, I felt lonely and misunderstood. The fear ran so deep that it took another twenty years before I could accept myself as I was.

This week, I stumbled upon the Dutch podcast ‘Luister Anita’ by chance. What a gem! Across five episodes, host Winfried Baijens takes you back to 1977—the year American singer Anita Bryant spread a wave of anti-gay hatred. To offer a counter-voice, Dutch celebrities organized a benefit concert to raise funds for an advertisement in Time Magazine. In the podcast, you hear the witty remarks of Mies Bouwman and the activist songs of Jelle and Ted en de Flikkers. But what moved me most was the united front the Netherlands presented in taking a stand.

How supported the young René would have felt had this message reached him. If only I had known during those lonely years that so many people were speaking out to say it is okay to be different—not with a message of hate and rejection, but of love. Unlike in my youth, it is much easier for young people today to find information online. At the same time, however, hate is on the rise. Rainbow benches and flags are being vandalized, social media is rife with hateful comments, and LGBTQ+ rights are under pressure worldwide.

Especially now, it is important to show your support. Look around you: what can you do to make things a little safer for other LGBTQ+ youth? It might mean calmly addressing someone who makes an unpleasant or judgmental remark, reaching out to someone who is being excluded, telling children stories in which there is room to be different or being the example you once missed.

Not everyone needs to be on the barricades. Safety and acceptance begin with giving someone the feeling—and the space—to simply be themselves.

Curious about the Dutch podcast 'Luister Anita'? Go to NPO Luister or Spotify.